My high school geometry teacher taught us about the word “assume.” I can’t remember why she was telling us about this, but I remember her simply writing the word on the chalk board one day and breaking it apart with lines drawn between “ass,” “u,” and “me.” I probably only remembered it because I was shocked that she underlined the word “ass” as she said “Assuming” and then continued to point at the two other letters in the word, “makes an ____ out of you and me.”
As someone who had rumors spread about her left and right all through high school, I never cared, because I knew they weren’t true. People are going to believe what they want to believe, so let them; as long as you know the truth, what does it matter? It never made sense to me why people cared so much about what other people thought of them. They must be drama-whores…
Growing up, my parents wouldn’t let me hang out with certain people because they didn’t want our small, conservative, religious town talking about who they let their kid hang out with. When it came to dating, my parents hated all my boyfriends. Most of them were bad boys, some of them smoked pot, and they rode motorcycles and drove muscle cars. The parents didn’t want me getting the reputation of a girl who got around and did a lot of “bad” things with a bunch of “bad” people. Granted, I may have smoked and drank a little, but it wasn’t anybody’s business but my own. I wasn’t one to get in fights or trouble with the law.
I was a good kid. I did no harm, but took no shit.
I said things to people’s faces – not their backs. I said things that other people only dreamt about saying. Was I hated for it? Mostly. Was I loved for it? Secretly. If I wanted to know the truth about someone, I just asked them. Better to hear it from the horse’s mouth than heckling hens right? And maybe this offended people, but I didn’t care, I wanted the truth.
People tend to form opinions on what they hear and think they see. They assume. And you know what assuming does. And my high school teacher was right: If you assume something about someone that you heard, you’re making yourself look like an ass. The only way to know for sure is to have a conversation – a confrontation if necessary.
People spread rumors or talk behind your back because of a couple reasons: 1) they want to seem like they know more than anyone else, making them feel powerful or 2) because they’re jealous and hate to see you happy, thus taking away your power.
Don’t let someone take your power. Don’t give into giving a shit about what other people think. It’s their problem, not yours. Go on and be you. Also, don’t be so quick to assume/judge; mind your own biscuits, and life will be gravy.